The Journey must continue …
” …realising your legs ,palms facing up ,close your eyes and come into natural breathing …”
Mid October I decided to try out yoga. Yeah I know what you are thinking. Every time I say this to someone I see their facial expressions change😳.
At this moment I am giving credit to Fightmaster Yoga on YouTube https://youtu.be/CRZmGnF382c for the humbling experience. The hardest part in the whole process was the overwhelming emotions that swept through my entire being after the 20 minutes session. I didn’t expect to be left almost 2 minutes in utter silence as my breathing slowed down, misty sweat on my face became cooler and my mind wondered for a moment and then it went BLANK! If I told you that after the session I cried ,my face in tears,sweat and the annoying snort that comes with crying so hard,would you believe me?…
I have no idea why I cried *hahaha* but I did and it felt so good.
Later that day I put a blanket on the fresh green grass outside and listened to my favourite talks by Alan Watts. I called that moment exhale
We deprive ourselves the relief of letting go.We are afraid of letting go.We hold onto relationships,friendships,jobs,choices,schools, that are in stagnation.We end up roller-coasting on highs and lows around things we think are “worth it” in the notion that if we hold on tight enough things will get better.
“to hold your breath is to lose your breath”
In my mind ,I thought that sitting down and just being was very selfish.That you shouldn’t sit and just free yourself because you just can’t afford it in time or money…That every minute you spend is to build your life, career,secure a good grade,waste no time, work your ass off to pass your examinations, get a good job, secure the money! You and I know the cycle. Rushing up and down to achieve, to meet standards, to chase that which is hard to get, and to live up to the high standards our parents, our friends, the society and the whole aspect of existence have set for us. Waking up to make ends meet. We become anxious and panic and if you find yourself somehow at a point where you are not doing anything ,that only means failure! A woman or man with no direction and no purpose!
Oh! The lies I had been telling myself. I know for a fact that I am nothing close to being accomplished and most likely you aren’t either. I know for a fact that I still have a long way to go. I find myself panicking that I haven’t even made any solid strides in my life. But I have learnt to allow myself to breath, because no amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen!
Let go…allow yourself to be,just allow yourself to just fucking be, you might drown trying to catch the water… so just Taste,Feel,Hear,Live Love,See,Acknowledge! Do not feel guilty for not being there yet,do not feel guilty for taking a break. Do not feel guilty for just being.
Que Sera Sera,whatever will be will be,the future is not ours,to see
Que Sera Sera
…maybe you were the hero you were waiting for
maybe you were the love of your life all along
maybe you were always happy
and just thought you needed the reassurance of someone safe
to let yourself feel it…